<P><B>Deus Ex Quotes - "I guess you had to be there"
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<P>Chris:I had to get up early... once.
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<P>Albert:When I say 'sh*t' it doesn't always mean something's wrong.
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<P>Warren:I'm sorry I created this bad machine. (*cough*) (*cough*)
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<P>Warren:Poof! I am God.
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<P>Steve:You would think that playing D&D all night with a guy who smells like salami would make you hungry, but it doesn't.
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<P>Dave:There comes a level of nerdiness when you can discern the difference between mouse pad surfaces. I have not yet reached that level.
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<P>Anon:Hey. Is there something wrong? Would you like a bite?
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<P>Steve:Singing while you work seems like one of those dwarf things that never really caught on with us big people.
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<P>Steve:Screw precision mousing surfaces, we have precise mousers.
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<P>Michael:Why did you try to pick that guy up?
<P>Dave:I thought he was a little boy.
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<P>Steve:The only problem with an online community is that there are people in it.
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<P>Warren:In #4, add half-naked workers to the asset list.
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<P>Harvey:Hey Monte, do you read much?
<P>Monte:What? Books?
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<P>Rob:(daily report, 7/29/98) Hugh and I got the GM_Tshirt_shorts, GM_Tshirt_Pants, and GM_PoloPants into the Unreal engine. Made minor modifications to the Hit_Back animation cycle for GM and applied changes to all the variations. Updated Sarah_Mead. And I boned a naked chick in my office while Jeff watched.
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<P>Marsh:Hey, go shoot something in the head and see what it looks like.
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<P>Chris:Hey, look! He sh*ts shells!
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<P>Scott:How come I'm always the one on top?!
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<P>Steve:Women just don't seem to be as funny as men.
<P>Harvey:Men have to be funny to score.
<P>Steve:Well, I think you're pretty funny.
<P>Monte:Uh-oh, you guys have me worried.
<P>Steve:Why? You're not funny.
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<P>Chris:Dead guys don't float but they will, eventually.
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<P>Warren:If we get a bunch of rats and pigeons in the appropriate places, people will sh*t.
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<P>Harvey:The Statue of Liberty does not look like the Statue of Liberty without that giant f*cking green statue on top.
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<P>Monte:This missile is pissing me off.
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<P>Dan:I like nuts, just not in food.
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<P>Steve:If you put a rubber-ball-gag in a dog's mouth and screw it, you ARE that weird.
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<P>Jay:I endorse anything that is cheap...
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<P>Scott:What were we talking about again? Oh yeah, Alzheimer's.
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<P>Marshall:I like to be a mage.
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<P>Monte:(talking to Clay about Harvey) If he's not hairy enough for you just rub some Rogaine on his back.
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<P>Steve:(in a funk) Fish is supposed to be brain food man. That's bullsh*t.
<P>Harvey:Fish is, but I don't think queso is.
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<P>Dan:Women are very high poly count.
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<P>Dan:Cool! I smell like naked people.
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<P>Chris:If he gets really puffy, can we poke him?
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<P>Dan:From far enough away, everyone is cute.
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<P>Tim to Albert:You've found an interesting way to break the script compiler.
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<P>Chris:You are f*cking up my automated process.
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<P>Warren:Wait a minute -- this is a dialogue rather than a flame. Cool.
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<P>Monte:Movers suck.
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<P>Albert:I'm not afraid of your paper balls!
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<P>Harvey:(watching Marshall try to cut a very hard ice cream cake) Wow, Marsh, that took all of your geek muscle!
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<P>Warren to Dan:All I have to do is cock this once, and your ass is MINE.
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<P>Warren to Dan:I have to get upstairs real quick and get this hair off my pie.
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<P>Christian:I'm going to shoot this right in his butt.
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<P>Albert:Wash one little boobie, wash two little boobies...
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<P>Leesa:Everywhere I turned, it was Marshall in the rear!
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<P>Warren:Did you say something about the boss's banana?
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<P>Harvey:Executives who don't give out Christmas bonuses should sleep lightly.
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<P>Leesa:(trying to say 'turn out the lights' in GeekSpeak) Make the lights default!
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<P>Russ:Symmetry is overrated.
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<P>Steve:(raking furiously in his desktop Zen Garden) I'm raking but it's not working.
<P>Harvey:It's either the Zen Garden or the Glock.
<P>Monte:Sand is flying everywhere.
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<P>Monte:I could have just thrown my mobility-assistance monkey into that drunk guy's car and screamed, ASSMONKEY KILL!
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<P>Harvey:Man, this shirt is hot.
<P>Monte:Well, just take it off.
<P>Harvey:What? And have you spring on me from behind with a bottle of Rogaine?
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<P>Warren to Dan:When we ship, THEN you'll be allowed to touch my stuff.
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<P>Monte:Raz me in the booty.
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<P>Chris:Don't let an artist tell you that it doesn't matter.
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<P>Dan:Warren has a great rack! 
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<P>Harvey:Oh man, women do not like being called hippos!
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<P>Clay:Man, Monte, your work has gotten a lot better.
<P>Monte:It's the Ex-lax.
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<P>Warren to Dan:This Big Boy's got your name on it.
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<P>Stan:It's like a pimple they can't reach around to pop.
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<P>Rob:People. Shoot 'em, kill 'em!
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<P>Chuck to Dan:May I borrow your wallet so that I may go pee?
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<P>Harvey:F*ck that! F*ck being agonized by Mr. Spock!
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<P>Katie the waitress at Artz Rib House:You guys order like a bunch of girls! (referring to the high maintenance orders of Russ, Steve, Harvey, Warren, Dan and Monte)
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<P>Peter to Michael:I don't think I've ever seen you in pants before.
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<P>Warren:...and then I took him home.
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<P>Monte:I'm not that homophobic... I hang out with all of you, don't I?
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<P>Harvey:It's like swimming in a giant, boiling urinal.
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<P>Warren:I got something hard.
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<P>Rob:That damn suit skirt babe - her ass kept poop-poop-pooping out the back of her skirt.
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<P>Monte:I don't want nudists, I want lingerieists.
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<P>Harvey:I've been here so long, I can't even take pleasure in web porn anymore.
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<P>Warren:Demi Moore sounds like a frog.
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<P>Warren:Pull that out again and walk around.
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<P>Scott:I need to get a vibrator.
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<P>Harvey:Didn't I tell you that yesterday was a day of great sex?
<P>Monte:Yeah, but how does that help us?
<P>Monte:(after pondering a moment) I guess it does help us because you aren't being such a bitch.
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<P>Harvey:That goat looked up and said 'Holy sh*t'!
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<P>Warren:Well, this is a paradigmatic problem!
<P>Everyone else in the room laughs hard.
<P>Warren:What? That's a word! It is!
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<P>Harvey:Killing people... not a problem.
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<P>Warren:We don't want to educate people unnecessarily.
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<P>Jay:So, which hooker did you use?
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<P>Chris:Once again, here's my standard disclaimer for those who have forgotten it: All art/effects/sounds in the game may or may not be final. All art/effects/sounds in the game will be cleaned up and polished during a tweak/polish pass to be started at a much later date.
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<P>Bob:Death definitely improves one's frame rate.
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<P>Chris:Now I want to go home and play with my joystick.
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<P>Monte:How come the spiderbot still... oh f*ck... oh sh*t... ahhhh.
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<P>Monte:(playing System Shock 2, struggling) Gosh dang bees in this game are f*cking gay.
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<P>Chris:Shut up! Just talk!
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<P>Monte:Clay and I can't play Quake on the internet servers anymore. It just ends up being all about who can backstab the most feebs in the shortest amount of time.
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<P>Scott to Peter:You have a very big package.
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<P>Monte:Hear that? That's the sound of the inside of Ricky Williams's colon...
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<P>Chris:When you want to do it, I'll show you how to do it.
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<P>Chris:Math is so cool. Hooray for math!
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<P>Harvey:So pure north is always east?
<P>Chris:It's not east, it's zero!
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<P>Tim Sweeney to Albert:This sounds like the kind of mistake I would make! If we were physicists, we'd discover the grand unification of physics, but get the sign wrong. :) 
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<P>Monte:I just wanted the biggest shaft in the game.
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<P>Warren:Chad wants you.
<P>Chris:He'll have to wait about five minutes.
<P>Warren:You'll have to beat him off.
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<P>Monte to Harvey:Read your email before you start bitching.
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<P>Harvey:The player is like a girl in a bar...
<P>Doug Church:Yeah, she wants to believe the lies.
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<P>Ricardo:Just because a chick has a knife in her purse does not mean that she has a dick...
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<P>Monte:You want me to rub your ribs with my... chicken?
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<P>Harvey:Look, Monte "Three Dumps A Day" Martinez is heading for the bathroom.
<P>Monte:Yes, and once I'm there I'm going to create a special pokemon just for you.
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<P>Ricardo:Monte, what should the start-up text for my sub mission be?
<P>Monte:Forgive me for this game-play?
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<P>Peter:There is some Tupperware in the fridge that has stuff in it older than the Tupperware.  If it is still there tomorrow, it is going to Tupperware hell.
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<P>Monte:(who spent the entire prior day working on a single forklift in UnrealEd) Hey, I reworked Area51...
<P>Ricardo:Yeah, now you kill the bad guy with a forklift.
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<P>Bob:(with enthusiasm) Ooh! I want that military guy!
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<P>Unknown:World domination is eminent.
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<P>Warren:(writing up a bug) Bots that aren't actively engaged in some kind of activity look pretty lifeless.
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<P>Scott to Albert:If you give me my balls back, I'll give you your rubber.
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<P>Chad to Monte:You are going to get a boob-job for your Real Doll?
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<P>Scott:You can gib a child with one stroke of the nanosword!
<P>Chris:That's because children have fewer hit points. They are inferior and weak.
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<P>Steve:I have a good sense of humor, I just don't laugh a lot.
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<P>Chris:There isn't much in the AI revision list except for the really critical stuff.
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<P>Peter:When you drink the booze the screen goes all funny. This is dumb. Can't you just make JC less coordinated or something. Sh*t if that happened to me after drinking a f*cking beer... I'd have aids by now.
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<P>Warren to Albert:You can tweak them in the nipples, but no butt grabbing.
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<P>Albert:Get the f*ck out of me!
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<P>Steve:Setting the AI reactions for a giant spiderbot is pretty easy... hate, hate, hate, hate.
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<P>Warren to Albert:I give you magazines to read, don't give me sh*t.
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<P>Harvey:Hitting my G-Spot is not all that hard. It's this big purple knob out in front of me.
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<P>Steve:Saying 'I was here until 4:30 in the morning' is the nerd equivalent of the purple heart.
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<P>Steve:I got my leg blown off yesterday and I really didn't notice anything different.
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<P>Warren:(describing a bug in Daikatana) Mikiko runs off down the hall, and you have to use her a random number of times before she'll come to.
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<P>Warren:...and now my wife wants me to dress that way all the time.
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<P>Harvey:It's a good thing that I'M the one deciding whether it's time to lick balls or not.
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<P>Warren:You don't have to stand here and watch, I'll keep beating on it.
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<P>Austin to Chris Todd:You're really putting the grimness into this game.
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<P>Chris:Come on, vibrate, damn you!
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<P>Andy:Hey Warren, I would actually buy this game now...
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<P>Andy:The karkians look like big potatos with legs, potato dogs! 
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<P>Albert:(referring to Warren) He's pacing around like a pregnant father.
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<P>"Paranoia means having all the facts." -- William S. Burroughs
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